Life's little curve balls

Corporate restructures happen.  People lose their jobs.  It's not the end of the world.  I lost my gig.   I had a lot of people tried to *help*.  I had a lot of people expecting me to react or feel a certain way.  Everybody's different.   I wasn't too broken up and people started really questioning me.  Here's what I learned and am still learning along the way.

1) Allow yourself the pity party.  Yep, dive into that chocolate ice cream, martinis or whatever floats your boat.  Stay in the dark watching bad TV wearing sweats and not answering the phone, texts or random social media you  are hooked into at the given moment.  Here's the thing - put a timebox around it.  Like 48 hours - basically a weekend but little more.   What I'm saying is you have to go thru the stages of what can be like grief but you don't have to stay there.  

2) Reflect don't overanalyze.  If you are one those people that does a spreadsheet to pick your lunch out this one is going to be painful.    I think the most often question in the world is "Why me?" - well why not you?   Sometimes you think you do everything right - do a great job, network with the a lot of people, volunteer for whatever bullshit committee that comes around, treat your coworkers and staff with respect.  Guess what?  Sometimes you still get laid off.  If you start overanalyzing every conversation you had within the last six to twelve months and start triple guessing every decision you will go mad.  Now I'm not saying I was perfect - far from it.   The key to reflect and ask yourself what would you change?  Everyone can find things they would like to improve on. 

3) Gratitude. Be honest, it wasn't all bad.   Show gratitude for what you learned, who you connected and maybe giving you the kick out the door was what you needed!  

4) Don't get sucked back into the drama.  Chances are good you still have friends that work back at the company.   You still want to see them.  You want to go to lunch.  They want to know how you are doing, etc.   When they start talking about the day to day politics and drama it's really easy to join in, it's natural, comfortable like a good pair of worn sneakers.    Take a step back.  Breathe.  Be supportive but you can't fix everything....besides, they aren't paying you to fix anything anymore.

5) Look ahead.  Guess what?  The world is a pretty big damn place and there's plenty of stuff to do out of those four walls.   Get out and try some new things. Get your head on straight.  Figure out what it is you want to do.  Call that friend you have being meaning to get back in touch with but have been too busy with work crap.  Most importantly, find some joy.


Life isn't a rehearsal....get on with it.